'Sometimes When We Touch'
There isn't enough room to run down the oversharing, self-mythologizing and total sissy-ness displayed here.
An entire generation's leg-warmered, pastel spandex shame is laid bare in just under four minutes.
'I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)'
Won't do what? Who's asking? Is this an opera? How many real songs are slammed together here, and why?
'I Love Rock 'n' Roll'
Doing her best to single-handedly set the women-in-rock movement back 20 years. (Joan Jett rules, BTW!)
'Party All the Time'
If only Eddie Murphy knew an amazingly sharp, funny, music-loving comedian to help rip this "song" apart ...
Please, let's all keep knocking them down. I don't care what they say, eventually they'll stay down for good.
We're bringing in a ringer to take this one apart for us. Please welcome Jim Carrey, performing 'Imposter.'
If this and 'C'mon N' Ride It' each leaves the train station at the same time, which gets to Sucktown first?
'Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm'
Not only bad but amazingly monotone and depressing. Absolutely the last song to play for your sad friends.
'Pretty Fly (for a White Guy)'
What we learn here is that you can be the joke teller, and still, somehow, be the butt of the same joke.
Without a doubt, the best remake of the 'Beverly Hills Cop' theme song by an animated frog, ever.
'Livin' la Vida Loca'
The No. 1 reason cruise ship bartenders and DJs quit their jobs. Also the last song you want to hear when hungover.
'Wild Wild West'
If this guy can sing this cheesy song, and still somehow get some in the middle of the workday, we bow to him.
'I'll Be There for You' (Theme From 'Friends')
The most dangerous song on this list. Like a panther, it can strike anywhere that reruns of 'Friends' roam free.
As badass as they are here, remember when they went all street and became NKOTB? Even tougher!!
He did it for the nookie, huh? We hope he got it, 'cause he's clearly going home without artist respect today.
'We Built This City'
You say you can't undo a legacy? Well, here's Grace Slick, singer of 'White Rabbit' proving you way wrong.
Smug: "Exhibiting or feeling great or offensive satisfaction with oneself or one's overly clever lyrics."