Girls, if you're gonna sing about your special parts, try to make the song as pretty as the subject, huh?
'The Hamster Dance Song'
Roger Miller and Hampton, Dixie, Hado & Fuzzy
'Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree'
Tony Orlando and Dawn
We love brave American soldiers. So much so, we think they deserve much better than this upon their return.
Think you like this? Sure you don't really like the song where it came from better? Without all the yapping?
If it's really electric, can we throw this song, and everybody involved in its creation, into some water?
'Break My Stride'
Thankfully, something did break his stride. (Well, sorta.. truthfully, he's a very successful producer now.)
'Do They Know It's Christmas?'
This song proves once and for all that the road to musical hell is paved with the best of intentions.
Not only does their band name include "69," and a "Z" in place of an "S," but also the song compares women to food.
'(Can't Live Without Your) Love and Affection'
They could have spent more time rehearsing or writing good songs, but, hey, that hair's not gonna comb itself!
'Puttin' on the Ritz'
If this is how this guy pays tribute to his hero Irving Berlin, I'd hate to see how he treats his enemies.
'The Lady in Red'
Unlike most guys, he remembers what his wife wore when they met. So? At least those fellas don't write crap songs.
We had a contest as to who could listen to this the most times? The winner lasted 38 seconds. Oh, and he's deaf.
'Hold My Hand'
C'mon, it's not their fault we overindulged on this one. If you eat too much cake, don't blame the baker.
With all the stories buzzing around her now, this song can almost be seen as prophetic. Oh, wait ... pa-thetic.
There's lots of weird things in this wild world of ours. This song being on this list? Not bizarre in the least.
'Whoomp! (There It Is)'
From our 1993 journal: "It's clear this is just the start for Tag Team. Also, handheld computing is here!"
'Breakfast at Tiffany's'
... and they went on to live together in love for many long decades, all based on that one overrated movie ...
'Seasons in the Sun'
New T-shirt slogan: "He had joy, he had fun, he had seasons in the sun, and all we got was this lousy song."
'Supermodel (You Better Work)'
Go ahead, laugh. The joke's all on us poor, uptight suckers with just one type of clothes in our closets.
'Walk the Dinosaur'
Look out! Meteor! Boom! Boom! Aka-lacka-lacka-boom! This song is knocked into extinction. Our ears are saved!