'Said I Loved You...but I Lied'
Right out of the gate, the king himself! We could do a whole cheesy songs list just from this amazingly mulleted adult-contemporary wonder. In this case, he declares he lied when he said he loved you. But wait! It's a trick, but not a cruel one. You see, the word love isn't strong enough to describe his emotions for you.
We all liked this insistent chorus the first few hundred times we heard it, but it got to be overplayed so quickly that schools held "Stop the Bop" campaigns, forcing students to hear this song throughout the day until they reached their fundraising goals. Thankfully, puberty rendered the boys unable to sing this in quite such a piercing register anymore.
'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go'
George Michael has spent the last two decades being photographed almost exclusively in black and white, striking serious poses in conservative gray or black suits. It all must be a reaction to his embarrassment over the day-glo, tight shorts, cut-off gloves, "what bet did you lose?" ensemble he's sporting in this video. Also, Andrew Ridgeley plays air-guitar over keyboard parts.
'Achy Breaky Heart'
This cheesy song's staggering run at the top of the charts back in 1992 was one of the defining moments in the mall-culture corruption of country music. It paved the way for anybody with a half-assed catchphrase, watered-down rock riff and a cloying pop melody to temporarily become a "country star" simply by adding a twang to their voice.
'Ice Ice Baby'
Our grandkids are never going to let us live this one down, and they'll be right. We let this ridiculously groomed young man and his sub-"moon, June, spoon" rhyme skills co-opt an already great Queen song and become the first rap song to ever top the pop charts. (Real video here, enjoy 'The Office' version, too.)
'I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)'
Understatement is not Meat Loaf's thing. Neither is clarity. He spends over seven minutes trying to explain what he won't do for love on this dramatic power ballad, complete with a vampire-themed video by fellow over-doer Michael Bay. Fans are still so confused he needs a chalkboard to explain it all. Sadly, this video starts too late and the mystery remains..
'Hooked on a Feeling'
All of the mysteries of life and its true meaning pale compare to this question: is David Hasselhoff in on the joke or not? He's clearly got a sense of humor of some sort, but does he secretly think this stuff works because he's so cool, or is he so cool he doesn't care? Either way, this is twisted genius.
Perhaps the ultimate "trojan horse" song of all time, with its sweet, innocent and unassuming delivery masking of one of the most unabashedly sexually frank lyrics of the pre-Prince era. Wouldn't you love to be near the radio when your grandma figures out these lyrics? Oh, and if you're wondering, yes, we covered the 'Anchorman' version on another list.
'It's Not Unusual'
Really? This is one of most cheesy songs? What if one considers this musical perfection? Should said person just roll out of his waterbed, turn off the lava lamp, pull on his bell-bottomed leisure suit, slap an 8-track into his shag-carpeted boogie van's hi-fi and roll on down the highway, big daddy? Well, then you know where we'll be, don't you?
'Never Gonna Give You Up'
A song so cheesy it has become the punchline to a world-wide, potentially never-ending joke perpetrated on millions and millions of people so far. Yes, we're talking about the "Rickroll," where you trick your friend into clicking on a link for some enticing or interesting video that turns into this song. That said, face it, the guy's got an awesome voice.