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100 Worst Songs Ever -- Part Five of Five

'What's Up?'
The sonic equivalent of those "hang in there" posters with the cat on a tree limb, except much screechier.
4 Non Blondes Bigger, Better, Faster, More!
'Gettin' Jiggy Wit It'
Honestly, how many times do we have to hear this phrase in the middle of a bad sitcom's corny sex joke?
Will Smith Big Willie Style
'Achy Breaky Heart'
Attention, all units! Country music has been kidnapped. Suspect last seen with a rat-tail and driving a Chevy with "Truck Balls." Also wanted for child endangerment.
Billy Ray Cyrus Some Gave All
The Dust Brothers produced amazing albums by Beck and the Beastie Boys, which almost makes up for this.
Hanson Middle of Nowhere
'Hollaback Girl'
Often, Gwen puts a twist on a musical idea and nails it. This? Reminds us what we hated about high school.
Gwen Stefani Love, Angel, Music, Baby
'Rico Suave'
Aka "The Latino Situation." We did some math: Gerardo can't be his father. But it would make sense, right?
Gerardo Mo Ritmo
How dumb was all that "10-4, good buddy" stuff? OMG, LOL! We would never do something that stupid! LMFAO ...
C.W. McCall's Greatest Hits
'With Arms Wide Open'
If only we could list this twice. Pompous: "Characterized by excessive self-esteem or exaggerated dignity."
Creed Human Clay
You know what we want? What we really, really want? A time machine, a map of England, five muzzles and glue.
Spice Girls Spice
'My Heart Will Go On'
New rule! From now on, the Canadian warbler, and not the captain, has to go down with this ship. Sound good?
Titanic Soundtrack
Los Del Rio
First: Place your arm straight out in front of you at shoulder height, palm facing down. Then: Punch the DJ.
Macarena Fiesta Macarena
'Ebony and Ivory'
Done much better by Joe Piscopo and Eddie Murphy. Everybody: "You are blind as a bat and I have sight ..."
Paul McCartney Tug Of War
'I'm Too Sexy'
Next time the Brits try to knock our culture, just ask them where these guys had four Top 30 singles in one year.
RIght Said Fred Up
'I Am Woman'
I'm with you, doll. Yes, I'm listening, now take my coat and hat, and what's for dinner? Why are you leaving?
Helen Reddy I Am Woman
'U Can't Touch This'
Poor, poor Rick James. If someone did this to your wonderful work of music, you might choose crack, too.
MC Hammer Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em
'Barbie Girl'
Paris Hilton was 16 years old when this came out. We're not blaming Aqua Girls entirely. We're just saying ...
Aqua Aquarium
'She Bangs'
Imagine you hate broccoli but had to sing a song about it every night. Then this guy sings it, too. Sad, right?
Ricky Martin Sound Loaded
'Ice Ice Baby'
Only thing good about this song is that it samples 'Under Pressure.' Of course, Iceman here didn't offer any songwriting credits until after it became a hit.
Vanilla Ice To The Extreme
'Who Let the Dogs Out?'
We try to forgive, but admit to daydreaming about supergluing an iPod with this on it to Michael Vick's head.
Baha Men Who Let The Dogs Out?
'(It's Time to) Beat Dat Beat'
"Being a guido's a way of life. I don't represent all Italians, I represent myself. I started this whole GTO s--- (Gym, Tan, Laundry). You have to stay fresh to dance." Yours truly, DJ Pauly D. 'Nuff said.
DJ Pauly D It's Time to Beat Dat Beat

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