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100 Worst Songs Ever -- Part Four of Five

'Sometimes When We Touch'
There isn't enough room to run down the oversharing, self-mythologizing and total sissy-ness displayed here.
Dan Hill Longer Fuse
An entire generation's leg-warmered, pastel spandex shame is laid bare in just under four minutes.
Olivia Newton-John Physical
'I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)'
Won't do what? Who's asking? Is this an opera? How many real songs are slammed together here, and why?
Meat Loaf Bat Out Of Hell II Back Into Hell
'I Love Rock 'n' Roll'
Doing her best to single-handedly set the women-in-rock movement back 20 years. (Joan Jett rules, BTW!)
Britney Spears Britney
'Party All the Time'
If only Eddie Murphy knew an amazingly sharp, funny, music-loving comedian to help rip this "song" apart ...
Eddie Murphy How Could It Be
Please, let's all keep knocking them down. I don't care what they say, eventually they'll stay down for good.
Chumbawamba Tubthumper
'Jump, Jump'
Don't blame the kids. Look behind the curtain for the true villains, songwriters Treach and Jermaine Dupri.
Kris Kross Totally Krossed Out
We're bringing in a ringer to take this one apart for us. Please welcome Jim Carrey, performing 'Imposter.'
Snow 12 Inches Of Snow
'The Loco-Motion'
If this and 'C'mon N' Ride It' each leaves the train station at the same time, which gets to Sucktown first?
Kylie Minogue Kylie
'Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm'
Not only bad but amazingly monotone and depressing. Absolutely the last song to play for your sad friends.
Crash Test Dummies God Shuffled His Feet
'Pretty Fly (for a White Guy)'
What we learn here is that you can be the joke teller, and still, somehow, be the butt of the same joke.
The Offspring Americana
'Axel F'
Without a doubt, the best remake of the 'Beverly Hills Cop' theme song by an animated frog, ever.
Crazy Frog Axel F.
'Livin' la Vida Loca'
The No. 1 reason cruise ship bartenders and DJs quit their jobs. Also the last song you want to hear when hungover.
Ricky Martin Ricky Martin
'Wild Wild West'
Look, make your dumb "robots in the Wild West" film, get millions, God bless. Just leave Stevie Wonder alone!
Will Smith Willennium
'Afternoon Delight'
If this guy can sing this cheesy song, and still somehow get some in the middle of the workday, we bow to him.
Starland Vocal Band Starland Vocal Band
'I'll Be There for You' (Theme From 'Friends')
The most dangerous song on this list. Like a panther, it can strike anywhere that reruns of 'Friends' roam free.
The Rembrandts L.P.
'Hangin' Tough'
As badass as they are here, remember when they went all street and became NKOTB? Even tougher!!
New Kids On The Block Hangin Tough
He did it for the nookie, huh? We hope he got it, 'cause he's clearly going home without artist respect today.
Limp Bizkit Significant Other
'We Built This City'
You say you can't undo a legacy? Well, here's Grace Slick, singer of 'White Rabbit' proving you way wrong.
Starship Knee Deep In The Hoopla
'One Week'
Smug: "Exhibiting or feeling great or offensive satisfaction with oneself or one's overly clever lyrics."
Barenaked Ladies Stunt

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