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100 Worst Songs Ever -- Part Three of Five

60

'Make 'Em Say Uhh'

Master P

Why does Master P sound so constipated in this song? Someone please get him some laxatives ...

iTunes | Lyrics

59

'From a Distance'

Bette Midler

"God is watching us, from a distance," huh? Yeah, he's no dummy -- less chance of hearing this from up there.

iTunes | Lyrics

58

'American Life'

Madonna

Madonna tries to get serious by pairing her stiffest beat ever with a high-school-level political rant.

iTunes | Lyrics

57

'Boom, Boom (Let's Go Back to My Room)'

Paul Lekakis

Doesn't the same idea just sound so much better in French? "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir)?"

iTunes

56

'Love Will Keep Us Together'

Captain & Tenille

Thirty-five years on, love has kept them together. The rest of us can stand united by our mutual dislike of this song.

iTunes | Lyrics

55

'It Wasn't Me'

Shaggy

So bad it further corrupted lawyers. Meet the Shaggy Defense: Lying in the face of overwhelming evidence.

iTunes | Lyrics

54

'Disco Duck'

Rick Dees

Six million people bought this piece of duck droppings in 1976. Not one of them would admit to doing so today.

Lyrics

53

'Summer Girls'

LFO

Stream-of-consciousness writing might be better off left to slightly deeper thinkers.

iTunes | Lyrics

52

'The Ketchup Song'

Las Ketchup

How could such an inoffensive condiment inspire a song that unfolds in so many different, annoying ways?

iTunes | Lyrics

51

'You Light Up My Life'

Debby Boone

Your grandparents probably love this and consider it a hip new record. Don't judge them too harshly, OK?

iTunes

50

'I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)'

The Proclaimers

We're halfway through our list! Doesn't it feel like your ears have walked through 500 miles of bad songs?

iTunes | Lyrics

49

'The Bad Touch'

The Bloodhound Gang

OK, yes, very juvenile, but the "let's do it like they do on the Discovery channel" line is pretty clever.

iTunes | Lyrics

48

'(You're) Having My Baby'

Paul Anka

Way to make "your" woman instantly regret deciding to embark on this wonderful adventure with you, buddy!

iTunes | Lyrics

47

'C'mon N' Ride It (The Train)'

Quad City DJ's

Sure, we'll ride this train. But only if you place every single copy of this record on the tracks first.

iTunes | Lyrics

46

'I Touch Myself'

The Divinyls

And the winner for the "Too Much Information for Social Comfort in Modern Rock Songwriting" award goes to ...

iTunes | Lyrics

45

'We Like to Party'

Vengaboys

If you live within a few hundred miles of a Six Flags adventure park, you've heard this 4,000 times.

iTunes | Lyrics

44

'Laffy Taffy'

D4L

How bad is this song? So bad that even the Chipmunks can't make it sound any worse. Go ahead, compare it.

iTunes | Lyrics

43

'Everybody (Backstreet's Back)'

Backstreet Boys

You wrote a theme song about yourself? What are you, a fictional band from a Saturday morning cartoon show?

iTunes | Lyrics

42

'We Didn't Start the Fire'

Billy Joel

To his credit, soon after this Billy admitted he'd run out of songs. Still, R.E.M. and Dylan pwned him here.

iTunes | Lyrics

41

'Blue (Da Ba Dee)'

Eiffel 65

This entire song is like one big ringtone that never ... ever ... ends. Answer the phone! Answer the phone!

iTunes | Lyrics

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